Made for Freedom Study Guide (PDF file)
The study guide for “Made for Freedom” an ideal tool for those who want to discuss marriage and religious liberty.
Search
Marriage Enrichment
-
The Power of a Praying Couple
This is a video from Marriage Builder on the power of a Praying Couple. If there is only one thing to tell couples that would improve their marriage and keep it strong, it would be this: You have to pray together and trust God together.
-
-
Made for freedom
Marriage and religious liberty stand - or fall - together.
-
Afraid Your Marriage Won't Last? Here's a Simple Way to Make Sure it Does
(HINT: It's Endorsed by the Pope)
The name of the book couples use to plan their wedding, Together for Life, is no coincidence. When couples join together in holy matrimony they vow to be true to each other in sickness and health as long as they both shall live. They vow to be together for life. Right?
Today, however, many people are afraid of making such a long-term commitment. In a recent address by Pope Francis to engaged couples (actually it was more like a Q and A with the pope), he expressed this unfortunate tenancy in our culture that leads us to fear forever.
Pope Francis spoke about this fear, saying, “[This is] a general fear that comes from our culture. To make life decisions seems impossible. Today everything changes so quickly, nothing lasts long.” The Holy Father went on to point out a common practice of many couples who decide that when the sentiment is gone, the marriage should end as well. Thus, we have many couples who decide to split up because they don’t feel like they are in love anymore.
How to Overcome the Fear of Forever Pope Francis gave some advice for married couples trying to fight against this common fear of forever. He said that the way to resist the fear is “by entrusting oneself to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual journey.” He suggested a daily practice of offering our love as married couples to the Lord and allowing him to multiply it in return.
He used the miracle of the multiplication as a metaphor for this daily practice. Jesus took five loaves and multiplied the bread to feed thousands.
In the same way, couples can offer Jesus the love that they share and have him multiply it for them. But let’s bring this down to the ground level. What does that actually mean, entrust oneself to the Lord? Pope Francis took the bread/love analogy a little further and suggested a simple prayer practice. While we all pray in the Lord’s Prayer “give us this day our daily bread,” he suggested that couples can likewise pray “give us this day our daily love.” In fact, prayer is the practical way in which we can entrust ourselves to the Lord.
Prayer is the way we can overcome that fear of forever and live out our marital vows of faithfulness and trust. It is a daily practice and a commitment by couples who want to grow in their faith together. Praying FOR (and with) your spouse, getting comfortable in praying together.
It is easier said than done, but it doesn’t have to be so hard! It can be as simple as "Thank you God for today, for my spouse and the hope for tomorrow." Praying with your spouse can be hard because it makes you vulnerable and it requires you to go deeper into what is important in your life.
Isn't your spouse important to you? Isn't this the one person on this earth that you can be vulnerable with? They should be!It’s also hard just to create a good consistent habit of prayer. Don't over complicate it, you love this person. Say prayers every night before going to bed, the nights that you spend a few moments together offering your petitions for each other can often become great moments of grace.
It really is true, that the couple that prays together stays together. It allows you to see your spouse as a child of God. To express your love for one another and what you ask God for each other.
You love this person, why? Remember what brought you together in the first place.
Spend quality time together
DON'T OVER COMPLICATE THINGS!
Maybe just take a walk and talk!
Actually hear and be heard! Share your day with each other; what one thing, no matter how small it was, brought joy to your day? What are your thankful for about your spouse?
What is it that has taken you away from your spouse? Share those little hurts, the things said in haste or with sarcasm, they can leave a lasting scar. Do not assume your spouse knows how you feel.
SAY IT!
Say I Love You
and Say It Often!
From the book 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage
1. Help your spouse grow by being the first to step outside the comfort zone.
It is easy to be tempted to hold ourselves back from emotional and spiritual growth because we are afraid that our new selves will not be accepted by our spouse. Fear is never a good excuse to refrain from growing closer to God or each other. Make a leap of courage by pushing yourself emotionally and spiritually, and hope that your spouse will be inspired by your actions. Be patient with yourself and your spouse.
2. Remember that only God is God.
Let your spouse be human. Give your spouse a break from always being perfectly understanding, always loving, and always there for you.
Ask yourself this: Are you always perfectly understanding, loving, and there for your spouse?
It’s highly unlikely that you are, and if you’re not perfect, then how can you expect your spouse to be? Only God is perfect. Let God be your example and your guide.Remember stuff happens!
3. Remove your self-esteem from the argument
You have a choice about how to handle not getting what you want. If your self-esteem depends on always getting your own way or always being right, your self-esteem will always be fragile.
Base your self-worth on the knowledge that you are beloved by God. Don’t let a momentary exchange define who you are and how much you like yourself.
You need to communicate and do so effectively. Communicating also includes LISTENING.
Ten rules of thumb for becoming a good listener from the book, Are you Really Listening? Keys to Successful Communication.
Read through the following tips for effective listening and choose just one to implement today and develop as a good communication habit.
Tips for Effective Listening
-
Make a commitment to listen to this person at this moment.
-
Do not act as though you are listening, if your heart is not in it or if the time is not right for you to listen, say so. It's okay to say that you can't talk about something now....NOW....it's never okay not to come back and talk about the issue.
-
Focus on the speaker with your eyes and your body language.
-
Focus on the speaker’s feelings, needs, and perceptions or on the information that is being communicated. Make sure you are understanding what your spouse is saying to you, for instance; "What I heard you say is...." Offering back what you heard in your own words with a questioning tone, always in love not in sarcasm.
Focusing on how you communicate and making a conscious effort to truly listen and express yourself in a way that your spouse hears you, you’ll be able to make good eye contact and body position a habit that pays off in the way you communicate with your spouse.
Don’t hide the fact that you are working on your listening skills, remind each other that a conversation involves two people, not just one!
Tools for effectively expressing yourself to your spouse
You should be able to say 3 things that should get your point across;
- This is what you did....
- This is why I'm upset....
- These are my expectations for the future....
Your spouse is then able to say they can either meet those expectations or not and if not what an alternative is. That is conflict resolution!
Treat each other with Respect. Speak in Love, gently and kindly.
Many Catholics don't realize that when you married, you made a commitment to your spouse but you also made a COVENANT with GOD. That Covenant (Promise) was you would do your best to help your spouse be the best person they could be and live out God's plan for them. -